Jane's story - "The Nationwide clinic has had a lasting positive impact"

I noticed that Brian was struggling to interact with people, and he became very isolated in conversation. At first, I thought it might have been an issue with his hearing aids. But he didn’t seem to understand what people were talking about. His short-term memory was declining, and he would walk a few steps from the living room to the kitchen and forget why he was there. Brian loved cryptic crosswords but suddenly couldn’t complete them anymore.  

I feel a huge amount of guilt

I suspected that Brian might have dementia but the journey to diagnosis was challenging. It was just after Covid and it was extremely difficult to get a diagnosis, and we felt rushed out of every appointment. Brian was eventually diagnosed with mixed dementia in 2021 when he was in his late 70s.  

It’s not caring for Brian that’s overwhelming. It’s taking on all the household tasks and remembering everything that needs to get done. Brian was very handy at home but when I ask him to help with something now, he will do something completely different. It’s hard to break the habit of asking him to help, as I’ve been relying on him for 40 years. I beat myself up as I should know he can’t do the things he used to. I feel a huge amount of guilt. 

I first heard about the Nationwide dementia clinics on Facebook and decided to book an appointment. The Nationwide branch is in the town centre so it’s very easy to get to and visible to the local community. In some ways I felt selfish attending the appointment to seek support, but I really needed to speak to somebody and voice my worries about Brian.  

The Nationwide clinic has had a lasting positive impact

I had a 45-minute appointment with a dementia specialist Admiral Nurse; no other healthcare professional has ever given me that much time. It was absolutely amazing to speak to somebody who understood what I was going through and had the time to listen.  

The Admiral Nurse reassured me that I was doing a great job and let me know that getting frustrated is normal. I was just so glad to speak to somebody. I wasn’t just given a load of leaflets and signposted to someone else, which is what I’ve experienced during appointments with other healthcare professionals.  

A lot of clinical settings feel scary and unsettling for a person living with dementia and their family. Our memory clinic is in an old psychiatric hospital where all the doors are locked, which is quite an intimidating environment. Going to a Nationwide branch that I’m familiar with made me feel so much more at ease. It meant I was able to relax and open up a lot more.  

Getting a referral

The best thing to come from the appointment was the fact that we were referred to an Admiral Nurse in our local area. Being told that there was someone who could support us on a regular basis was a huge relief. The process was very quick, and an Admiral Nurse visited us at home within four weeks of the clinic appointment.   

The Nationwide clinic has had a lasting positive impact on me and I’m so grateful to the Admiral Nurses and Nationwide. Even my daughter has noticed a positive change in me since the appointment, which has provided reassurance to my family.  

I’m spreading the word about the Nationwide clinics, and encourage people at the memory cafe about the clinics to book an appointment. It is such a wonderful service; the experience couldn’t have been any better.  

Nationwide Building Society has partnered with Dementia UK to offer free dementia clinics. If you care for someone who has dementia or live with the diagnosis yourself, you can book a free 45-minute appointment with a dementia specialist Admiral Nurse for expert, tailored support, whatever your questions or concerns. Our dementia clinics are being held at selected Nationwide branches across the UK.