I still cherish every moment I have with Jan – Bob’s story
Bob, who has been married to Jan for 62 years, reflects on their beautiful relationship in spite of a heartbreaking journey with dementia.
People with dementia may face many challenges in communicating with others. Here, we share tips on the small but important changes you can make to improve communication.
Communication is fundamental to our ability to express ourselves, and our relationships with other people.
We communicate not only through our words but also our body language, facial expressions and tone of voice – but people with dementia may have challenges with all of these forms of communication.
They may experience:
- difficulty finding the right words, and sometimes using the wrong word
- difficulty pronouncing words
- muddling words, such as ‘aminal’ rather than ‘animal’
- problems following a conversation, especially in a noisy environment
- difficulty understanding humour or sarcasm
- difficulty reading other people’s emotions or understanding their behaviours
- a tendency to repeat themselves
- fluctuating concentration and communication abilities, often caused by tiredness or ill health
- stress caused by struggling to make their views, needs and feelings known
A person with dementia can often understand far more than they can communicate, so always try to involve them in your conversation.
Small changes in your approach can make a big difference. You could try:
- stopping what you’re doing and focusing entirely on the person
- limiting distractions
- saying their name when talking to them
- touching their arm, if they feel comfortable with this
- smiling
- speaking slowly, clearly and in short sentences
- using simple and straightforward language
- listening carefully with empathy and understanding
- giving the person plenty of time to answer
- maintaining appropriate eye contact
- being specific – for example, try not to use pronouns such as ‘he’ or ‘she’ when talking about others; use their name instead
- using gestures to act out what you’re saying – for example, by miming drinking a cup of tea or putting on your shoes
- using pictures to explain what you’re saying, such as an image of a car or a photo of where you’re going
- avoiding open-ended questions or offering too many choices
- using visual timetables – where you use photos or images to show what will happen at various times of the day
You could also ask the person’s GP or specialist if a referral to a speech and language therapist might be beneficial.
If the person with dementia seems more confused than usual and is having more trouble communicating, it’s a good idea to visit their GP.
Sometimes, there may be another cause for their confusion, like an infection, constipation, dehydration or delirium, which could be treated.
As well as the challenges that dementia can cause with communication, many people with the diagnosis – especially older people – also have problems with hearing loss.
You can book a hearing test with many large pharmacies or opticians (these are often free of charge), but depending on the progression of the person’s condition, it may be better to ask the GP for a referral to a hearing specialist (audiologist) who has experience of working with people with dementia.
If you have any questions or concerns relating to dementia, call our free Dementia Helpline on 0800 888 6678 (Monday-Friday 9am-9pm, Saturday and Sunday 9am-5pm), email helpline@dementiauk.org or you can book a virtual appointment with an Admiral Nurse via phone or video call.
Dementia UK information
Other resources
- RNID Information Line
information@rnid.org.uk
0780 000 0360 (text)
0800 808 0123 (phone)
Online hearing check tool - Royal College of Speech and Language Therapy – How to find a speech and language therapist
Book an appointment with an Admiral Nurse
Our virtual clinics give you the chance to discuss any questions or concerns with a dementia specialist Admiral Nurse by phone or video call, at a time that suits you.
