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A family at home at Christmas.

Preparing family and friends for visiting a person with dementia at Christmas

We share our tips for helping family and friends feel prepared for festive gatherings with a person with dementia.

Why is it important to prepare family and friends ahead of festive gatherings?

The festive season is a chance to get together, but it can also be stressful, especially if someone is living with dementia.

Family and friends may feel nervous about visiting the person with dementia, or unsure about what to expect if they haven’t seen them in a while. Has their dementia progressed? Will the person recognise them? How can they make the most of their visit?

Making sure everyone is prepared can help to ease the pressure on the day. Here are our tips to help you get started.

How can you prepare family and friends ahead of festive gatherings?

Information about the person’s dementia

Before festive gatherings, share details with family and friends about the person’s dementia. This can help them to feel more prepared for any changes they might notice during their visit. You could explain:

Communication tips

Family and friends may feel unsure about how to handle conversations with the person with dementia. While interacting with the person will depend on their own unique needs, sharing communication tips ahead of gatherings can help to start conversations and build connections, even if the person finds it difficult to communicate as they used to.

Encourage visitors to keep introductions simple. They could say something like, “Hello, I’m James, your grandson. It’s lovely to see you.” It’s important to give the person with dementia time to respond; silence is okay.

Children may not know what to expect when visiting the person with dementia, especially if they’re meeting them for the first time in a while. Before the festive gathering, explain dementia to them in simple terms, like, “Grandma’s brain works differently now, so you might need to tell her things more than once.”

Topics of conversation

To ensure that everyone feels included in the festivities, you could suggest topics of conversation that family and friends can talk about with the person with dementia, such as:

  • What are the person’s interests and hobbies?
  • Does the person have a favourite Christmas song?
  • Tell them about the person’s significant life experiences, like their schooldays, getting married and their previous jobs, to create talking points.

Man and wife singing carols in a church

“To help people in their approaches to John, I sent an email in advance. I listed various significant events in his life that I knew he would happily talk about. Several people thanked me for this, saying that it meant they could approach John with confidence.”

- Jacqui, whose husband, John, lives with Alzheimer’s disease

Adapting to changing plans

Gatherings and parties often mean the home gets busier than normal, which can be overwhelming for the person with dementia. Set expectations with family and friends that their visit may need to be kept short or cancelled last-minute if the person is becoming unsettled.

Provide reassurance

It’s important to prepare family and friends for the possibility that the person with dementia may not recognise them. Although this can be upsetting, reassure them that they can still connect and make new, meaningful memories together. Encourage family and friends to bring photo albums to prompt reminiscence and start conversations.

Ricky (on the right) and his mum (on the left) cuddling

“My advice to anyone who is fortunate enough to have grandparents is to spend time with them and ask them all the things you want to. I wish I’d asked Gran more about her early years in India – she had a whole life before she became my gran."

- Ricky, whose gran had dementia

Visiting a care home

If the person with dementia is in a care home, speak to staff before your visit so you can plan your day. Make sure you find out:

  • visiting times
  • the number of people who can visit at the same time
  • whether children are allowed to visit
  • what festive celebrations or activities visitors can join in with

Preparing the person with dementia for family gatherings

As well as talking to family and friends before a festive gathering, it’s important to prepare the person living with dementia to help prevent them from becoming overwhelmed when visitors arrive.

Explain to them the plan for the day, including what time family and friends will arrive, who is visiting, what activities are planned and whether there will be a meal. You could show them photos of the visitors, so the person knows who to expect on the day.

It’s also important to look after yourself this festive season. For advice and support with preparing for family gatherings or any other aspect of dementia, please contact a specialist Admiral Nurse on our free Dementia Helpline, book a online appointment or schedule a face-to-face appointment at a Nationwide branch.