Helen Taylor's Story

The first week that I was on my own was devastating. I was lost. What was my role now? I didn’t have one. Other people had the care of my Geoff. Oh yes I could see him whenever I wanted to, but I felt in the way. Redundant, lonely and guilty and so, so, sad. The staff were very kind and welcoming to me even when I turned up one night after eleven o’clock, as I couldn’t sleep without seeing that Geoff was settled for the night. Of course he was fast asleep like a baby. Although I was relived, I was also mad that he could sleep but I was suffering still.

During the past couple of years we have all become a good team, sharing in the care of Geoff. He is still the man I married with his occasional flashes of humour, recognition (I think) and all his mannerisms. However I still need support as I never know what I am going to find when I visit Geoff as we still have some anxious times and, still on occasions the shear weight of this illness overcomes me, as recently out of the blue I hit a very low spot and it is at times like this that we all need the support of these trained nurses. Their nursing skills and knowledge is invaluable in helping and guiding us carers in our role looking after and understanding our loved ones better.

As Geoff‘s coherent speech has completely gone and his facial expressions are diminishing the brightness or otherwise of his eyes are the indicators to how he is feeling, and guide my interaction with him. We still have good times together although occasionally we both have a down day, but with my Admiral Nurse, Joes club and my membership now of Uniting Carers, to support me I do bounce back and go into the Nursing home singing “Happy feet I’ve got those Happy feet “or something else equally silly.
But I am so lucky to have the support of a good family and friends as well as Rachael but what do people who don’t have this great support do? That is why it is so important that there should be Admiral Nurses in every town to support carers. Then these stresses and strains would be more bearable.

I no longer have my caravan, but I so miss the outdoor life we used to share that I have bought myself a tent; my children think I am mad. But in the spring I shall go rallying again. Not too far away so that I can have the best of both worlds, seeing my Geoff daily and at the same time enjoying the great outdoors and making many new friends

Joining Uniting Carers has given me my confidence back and the opportunity to learn so much more about dementia and how to communicate my experiences of the past few years.
I now feel I am back. Back in the real world.